At A Loss

15 10 2017

It is time for another weekly entry, but I guess I would say I am not in the mood to write stuff. Haha, in fact, it is now quite late into the weekend and it’s not far away from yet another week of work.

Well, I guess work stuff will still come first. To put things shortly, I would say it is currently bugging quite a bit due to a number of things happening and maybe I am at a point where there are too many uncertainties lying around. On top of that, there are things that I am not doing all that well, not sure due to inexperience or it is me not being hard enough on setting targets. Hmm, I hope I will have more time and opportunities to figure these out properly, though I am quite bothered by them recently and it’s not really a good sign. As much as I tell myself not to think about it after I am out of the office, I realise I can’t really control my subconscious at all and it comes back to bug me even when I try to occupy myself with other stuff. I suppose I will need to observe myself too, and decide if it is something I would try to continue doing in hopes of levelling myself up, or decide that such a path is not something I would overcome without paying a price for it. Yah well, I’ve decided to at least give myself some time before concluding anything, hopefully I will get an answer I am contented with by that time. In the meantime, I suppose I will have to deal with things one at a time and perhaps learn something from it. Maybe I should talk to some people too for some discussion and expectations, but I am not sure if they are really receptive to such talks, or whether it is really the right time to be doing such things.

Moving on, I haven’t exactly cleared a lot of backlog during this past week, though there are still sufficient fighting game video entries to go around for a couple of weeks or so, including the coming one. That said, it appears that the backlog is growing faster than my watching so it’s not exactly that good of a sign. Hmm, I suppose my mood has also affected the rate at which I clear these videos, apart from the fact that I am generally spending more time on work on a weekly basis lately. Well, at least for the time being it is not affecting what you see on this little space just yet. I can’t guarantee anything for things in the future though. Will just have to wait and see what happens.

I think that’s it for this week’s updates and I hope the coming week will not be difficult to survive, considering there will be a public holiday in the middle of it. I suppose I will need to take care of myself more so than asking all of you to do the same as I would usually. See you next week.


Thinking and Thoughts

8 10 2017

Another week has gone by and I suppose it is time for me to find something to fill up this little space once again. Well, it’s the same “problem” every week anyway. Haha.

As usual, work stuff comes first, and I’ll try to keep the rants within control over here. Yep, I guess that gives you some sort of hint on how I feel about the events which took place in the past week. While I was on leave on Monday, I still spent time replying to messages and stuff, something I wouldn’t have done previously but since I am entrusted with some responsibilities, I thought (at that time) that I should put in more effort into making some things go more smoothly but now I am thinking if I really should care that much, considering the development of events for a certain matter which seriously casts some major doubt on how much faith I should still put with the supposed promise/direction that the project is to take over time in order to achieve a certain goal. While theoretically that not all hope is lost yet, it has certainly already lost a bunch of whatever faith I have left with them, unless something significant happens in the near future which will change my mind convincingly instead of another temporary postponement which solves nothing but delay the problems from surfacing. Of which, I have already predicted quite a number of times so I feel I have a fairly good enough understanding, or at the very least I am on the right track of having my own extrapolations.

Also, with the recent events, it is clear as day now that some of the major problems as mentioned by my senior are indeed prevalent (I also had my own suspicions but no ‘concrete proof’) and at the minimum I would say that there are a few others who can also tell the signs but all of these people apparently have no real say when it comes to the crux of the matter. For what actions I would take in the near future, I suppose it will mainly rely on 2 huge matters which I shall not go into great detail here but it’s definitely nothing to do with IPO. I never considered that as a deciding factor for me to stick around or leave, unless something really drastic or incomprehensible happens out of that development. In the meantime, I am honestly not holding much hopes for things to go the direction that would convince me that it is something worth putting more effort for. Yep, it’s the end result of my usual pessimism (or non-optimism) and the lack of drive to go the extra mile since hardly anything truly motivates me positively.

All right, enough of work. What will come, will come. So moving on, the week’s entries have already been scheduled and I am still in the midst of trying to catch up to clearing videos in my ‘Watch Later’ list and so far I would say I am not winning this ‘battle’. Well, I suppose there is also no real need to rush in terms of preparing entries since that’s pretty much safe for now, but it’s not a good thing to have (yet another) backlog growing as it will feel harder and more challenging to tackle it after it attains a certain critical mass. In the meantime, you may see the age of the videos getting “older” because I am still posting at the same rate as before. Lol, yeah, I guess it will last for quite many weeks to come as I continue to play catch up with this.

Well then, I suppose that is probably sufficient for the week, and I should probably draft a few of those entries waiting for me to write, also doubling up as a break from clearing stuff on YouTube. The coming week is probably not going to be such a nice time, but I will try to keep myself under control and not go berserk even if some things really irk me a lot. Take care and I should be back again next week, hopefully not with more rants. Lol.

Final Quarter

1 10 2017

It’s time for another weekly update and it also marks the start of the final quarter (month wise) of the calendar year. As usual, I don’t really think there is a whole lot to talk about so I’ll just go through and get done with it before moving on to other matters.

As always, the first thing will be about work and the past week has been fairly all right, though in the grand scheme of things, I don’t suppose it is going to be all that awesome for me in the short term. Perhaps if I stick through it and somehow survive in one piece, it should, in theory, help my career growth quite a bit but I suppose I can’t exactly focus on that fully with many things right in front of me which need to be settled in the near future. Transitioning and finding the balance will probably will an important key in the coming weeks and months. In the meantime, I guess it’s even more playing by ear until there’s a time where I can do less of that. As part of my leave plan, it will once again be a shorter work week for me in the coming days though I’m not sure it’s such a wise choice anymore. Lol. Well, for the time being, I will just try to make the best of it without feeling like I want to call it quits. =P

For the week’s entries, as usual fighting game videos will once again take up all the slots, and in fact it should be so for quite some weeks to come, considering the amount of videos recently is really a lot, to a point where I am actually not keeping up with the increase and based on current estimates, it should be enough to last till middle of the following month unless they turn out to be bad (I doubt). Other than seeing the numbers increase quite a bit, I’m actually not complaining since it is after all my favourite genre and somehow it helps me in more ways than just viewing the content despite not having touched the game just yet. As to what it is, it is up to your imagination. =D Hmm, actually I also have a few entries to write about since I have also finished watching them over the week so I suppose I might actually spend the greater part of my remaining long weekend on clearing YouTube videos and some writing backlog.

For those going back to work tomorrow, I hope it will be a good start to the week, though I expect my first day to be catching up on the events and details which happens tomorrow. Meanwhile, I should unwind and recharge further in preparation for a supposedly tough battle ahead. Take care and I should be back again next week. See ya.